The new Italian Family
Big families disappear

To the outside world, the classical image of an Italian family consists of la mama with a dozen of children hanging on her sleeves. This has permanently become a thing of the past. Today the modern mama has just 1.3 Versace-clad children. The era of the big Italian families with la mama ruling the roost over her enormous offspring has disappeared within a single generation. The Italian family has become vertical: children no longer have siblings, fewer and fewer cousins, uncles and aunts.

Historically, the shrinkage of the family started in the fifties. Industrialisation made families swap their country life for factory jobs in the city. In the countryside children were needed to work on the fields. And in the system of Mezzadria , the rule was simple: the more children you had, the more land you were given. In the city, all this was no longer necessary. As the housing got smaller, so did the family.

Italian women have their studies and career in mind, as well as the need to spend more time with the kids. It is more difficult to divide attention amongst ten children than to lavish it all on one child. The social climate doesn't allow families to bring many bambini to the world. Child benefit is low, there is little or no daycare and having children is most of all expensive.

Little gods
In Italy , children are like little gods. Just walk through any shopping street with a child next to you. Perfect strangers will talk to you. They'll advise you on how to best raise your child. In Italy this means: spoil your only child as much as possible. It can stay up late, get everything it wants and won't take no for an answer. Not very often will you see a little boy or girl walking around in dirty or worn clothes. Children are dressed according to the latest fashion.

Still, being a child in Italy isn't all roses. In general, their life of Riley becomes overshadowed by boredom. Playing outside is not an option because of too much traffic and too few parks. More than a quarter of the children are raised by gran and grandad, as both parents are out working. In the South of Italy in particular, childhood is not a very nice experience for children from less well-to-do families. Especially in the big cities like Naples, child-abuse and child-labour are a large problem.

The greying of the population is another consequence of the new family structures. By 2025, the Italian population will have descended from 57 million to 55 million. And if the trend continues, there will be more retiring homes than kindergartens in 2050. More than a quarter of the population will then consist of senior citizens.

Mummy's boy
The big family clans may no longer exist, but the bond between families remains close as ever. Families in Italy take good care of each other, also out of social and economical necessity. The clans provide the only efficient safety net in case of illness, child care or financial problems. An Italian is more attached to his family than to his country. The family bond is the most important thing on earth for young and old, the only group deserving of solidarity and loyalty. La casa in Italian means two things: home and family. In northern Europe, family bonds are usually not so close; the house is more of an individualistic home for the small nuclear family.

A good example of the strong family bond in Italy is the mother-son relation. This relationship is world-famous and quite unique. There is even a term for it: mammismo, which means as much as mummy's boy. Most men live with their parents until they get married. They also stay at home out of laziness. La mama cooks and cleans for them and makes sure her son is deprived of nothing. Forty-year-old men who still live at home are called mammoni , literally: fully-grown mother's child. When an Italian man gets married, he will live as near as possible to his mother and visit her at least once a day.

Infidelity
Most Italians still get married in church. The costs for the wedding and home are frequently paid for by the parents. Divorces occur ever more often. Infidelity is for Italians no real reason to get a divorce. Lovers and mistresses are no exception. Italian men often have two families: a legal one with the wife, and another one with the mistress.

There is no doubt that the Italian family structure is quite exceptional in Europe. A large family clan with dozens of cousins, aunts and uncles is rapidly becoming extinct in Italy . Within a single generation, ever fewer children are hanging on the sleeves of la mama.

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- This site was realised thanks to the co-operation between the town council and the inhabitants of Torrita di Siena and ten graduated students 2004 from the “Katholieke Hogeschool Mechelen”, Belgium, department communication science, campus De Ham. - © Torrita di Siena